Quote for the day

Quote for the day: " Four things come not back: the spoken word, the spent arrow, the past, and the neglected opportunity " by Omar Idn Al-Halif

Loss!

When my father suddenly passed away, I thought I was emotionally strong. Despite knowing that it is the cycle of life, knowing that "the aim of life is death", it still evokes very strong emotions.

Recently, a friend's baby boy, old 2 days, passed away. A normal and healthy baby, gets the milk into his lungs, passes away in sleep! Even, before the parents realised their bundle of joy, the joy had turned to inconsolable sorrow. 9 months of anxiousness, expectations, emotions, joy, and all it lasts is for 2 days as joy and sorrow for lifetime. How can one come to terms with this? I don't know!

Mental Sickness/Psychological disorder

This is one of my first posts on Counselling though I have much more interest in the subject than depicted on this blog.

Contrary to the popular belief, mental sickness troubles more people than any other physical illness. It is just that the symptoms are not openly visible. Also, the other misconception is that people who visit the psychologist or have been diagnosed with any mental illness are all mad.

What is mental sickness/Psychological disorder?
Mental sickness is just a state of mind, where people tend to show an uncommon behaviour at a given situation. There are many scientific definitions available for the same that are easily available on the internet. The common ones are Depression, over possessive, split personality etc.

What causes Mental Sickness?
Childhood. Any heart ache has its roots in childhood experiences and is very closely related to the family. The cause could be separation, or neglect or as silly as not been given with something. Most common cause is the feeling of “being neglected” and “not given due importance”. The child tries to do things to get attention. When s/he doesn’t get the due attention repeatedly, they start trying new means like shouting, screaming, self hurting to be noticed. Over a period of time when the child doesn’t get what he wants, he gradually finds out ways to ensure that s/he gets what is required.

Most of the time people around this troubled child ignore the symptoms as childhood pangs. And as child starts growing s/he gets used to the system and occasionally exhibits the symptoms or when provoked with a situation that warrants them to.

When is the mental sickness recognized?
There is no specific point at which the problem explodes or recognized. Generally it is some incident or reoccurrence of a similar situation that provokes suppressed behaviour to be exhibited.

For ex., if a child had been neglected in his childhood by his parents, such a child develops the habit of being extremely possessive. And any thing that is important to that child becomes a possession. The thing could be a toy or pet or someone as a close friend. The child will exhibit a completely different behaviour when separated from that important thing. Then for that child having that toy/friend/pet is the only primary aim. S/he can do anything to retain the target in his possession. The possessive behaviour can be in extremes (often exhibited as second personality) and they forget to see if the toy is broken or friend/pet is hurt due to their possession.


What is the cure?
Though there is no one particular cure for mental sickness, these days there are medical remedies available. One important factor in the cure is the Determination and Positive Attitude of the patient to cure himself from the problem. If a person has no determination the medical remedies either become a short term remedy or a quick fix solution that will not completely cure the illness.

Family Support
People suffering from such disorders need an extra ordinary amount of support from the family depending on the problem. In some cases, where the patient exhibits a severe kind of disorder, it becomes a highest degree of punishment to the family and most often the family gives up.

For ex., a person who is extremely possessive, life becomes hell for the person who is being possessed. Generally it is the person’s girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse and has to just do whatever is expected by the patient and nothing else. The patient will neither accept that he has a problem and get it cured nor will let the target/victim go easily. Finally, the victim will get so much troubled by the patient that s/he will not be able to support any more. They will be left with no choice but flee from that patient. This is just one example of an extreme case.

More will follow.

Beginning – The process to come to an End

Most of the time, we start a new journey or activity with initial apprehensions or reservations along with positive thoughts. As we progress further in the activity or indulge more, we start getting hints if it is going to be accomplished as planned. Initial hiccups and setbacks though are the stepping stones for the success they also decide how well these are addressed and the vibes (positive or negative) they send.

If the stepping stones are not laid properly, it is sure to fail the success one day, isn’t it? Imagine a series of steps. If a couple of steps are not proper, you can adjust with them to move up and down. But if the steps are laid dangerously, they will definitely cause a fall.

Similarly, as we progress in the activity selected, we start realising how soon or later it is going to come to an end. Of course, there will be some major decisions; surprises that might lead you to a decision to end the activity, but most of the times the decision to end will not be a complete surprise. Small, sometimes ignorable experiences/feelings through-out that period will aid the surprise and decision to end the activity.

So, beginning actually is a beginning to an end, right?

Quote for the day!

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg

Coming Back to blogging

I am going to break my blog-silence and make a come back... soon.

Transition from Life to Lifeless

A fraction of second! A fraction of second is all it took to see the person who gave life to me, who taught life to me, lying in my arms, “lifeless”. No time to know what happened, no time to do anything to retain that “life” in himself.

A second before, he was there, full of dreams, thoughts, plans for all the time to come. And in a fraction of second, all those dreams, plans ceased to exist.

The impact of this transition is cruel.

10 minutes after that massive cardiac arrest, we reach the hospital to seek help to keep him alive. And the first thing people around, in the hospital, refer to him as “Body”. Before even the doctor saw my dad, people around, certified him lifeless!

15 minutes later, the doctor certified that my dad is dead. My dad is no more in possession of his life. 8.45AM 9th February, he was declared dead. The day had just begun, signalling the end of my dad’s life.

He did not respond to his wife’s touch, his daughter’s or his son-in-law’s call.

40 minutes later, my dad was lying lifeless in the car, as we travelled to reach home.

4 hours later, the Eye surgeon, cut his eyes, in open. He did not cry out of pain.

8 hours later, the priest referred to him as “preta”. He did not deny. It took 12 days to certify that he is now a soul, resting in peace.

9 hours later, he was put on the pyre. He didn’t complain.

9 hours before, He dreamt, He planned, He lived.

His journey of 58 years ends. Not only His dreams end, but also our dreams with him come to a ruthless end. None of us thought that he would go away, never to return.

All it took is a fraction of second!